Montana Grandma

Today in Church we had a combined Priesthood and Relief Society Meeting. The lesson was reviewing this talk by President Thomas S. Monson. The teacher asked the question – What is keeping us from having the world's best marriage? After a bit of a discussion and the conclusion drawn that selfishness is a big part of marriage trouble I raised my hand to share something that I witnessed – again – with my parents – especially with my dad.

I have spent the last two weeks in Utah caring for my parents. My mom had hip surgery and so is unable to care for my dad totally. So it was my turn to be there and help. My dad has advanced Parkinson's disease and part of that disease has affected his memory and his ability to care for himself in very basic ways.

The comment I made was something like this…My dad who cannot dress himself most mornings or remember who he is let alone anyone else most days still knows my mom and is more concerned about her than anything else in his life. He senses when she is sad and tries to comfort her. He will not enter the house if she isn't in first. He won't get into the car until he is sure that she is safely in her seat. This past week, more than one time when he was eating he would offer her a bite of his food before taking one himself. He wanted to be sure that she had some of what he had. He would not get into bed until kissing her goodnight and when he would walk past her chair he would reach out and tickle her foot. That is unselfish. That is why they have been married for 54 years. That is why he doesn't want to leave this world – who will take care of her after he is gone? Will she be okay? Those are the questions he always asks her. The tenderness in his eyes towards her is a priceless gift that I have been blessed to witness again the last little while. Her comfort is everything to him because somewhere deep down inside of him he remembers that he loves her, that they love each other, that he has always cared for her, always put her above himself – ALWAYS. And that is what makes their marriage the world's best. And she has always done the same for him. There is not a selfish bone in my dad's body and I am eternally grateful that I am his daughter and the recipient of his example.

Still in his old age and with his worn out body and mind he continues to teach me how to have the world's best marriage. I truly have been born of goodly parents. I am truly grateful for memories tucked deep in my heart that will sustain me and continue to teach me long after he leaves this earth. It is those things that will sustain my mom after he is gone because she will always know that he loved her more than himself.